


Corps of Discovery (There's Three of Us)

by montynavarrno



Series: The Hamfam goes to college [21]
Category: 18th Century CE RPF, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Lewis and Clark are high schoolers who hero worship Jefferson and Madison, M/M, Sacagawea isn't in this, alex is disgusted by the idea that anyone could like jefferson, but for future reference she's in middle school and is smarter than Lewis and Clark tbh, mentions of panic attacks and suicide attempts, she'll make later appearances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 01:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8308795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/montynavarrno/pseuds/montynavarrno
Summary: Shockingly, sometimes people like Thomas Jefferson more than they like Alexander Hamilton. Such is the case with two high schoolers, who are hanging out with Jefferson and Madison quite a bit. What kind of high schoolers hang out with a couple of losers in college like Madison and Jefferson anyway?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've spent the last two days crying about how gay Lewis and Clark were. This is the result of my need for more gay Lewis and bisexual Clark. 
> 
> Also, Lewis is depressed and anxious in this story (and in real life tbh dude was a sad guy). He has an emotional support dog. Now, historically, Lewis' dog was named Seaman, but I can't take that name seriously. Like, my friend and I were talking about what a terrible fucking name Seaman is for like half an hour. So, I'm going with the name that historians originally thought the dog was named, which is Scannon. Which, frankly, isn't much better, but at least I can take it seriously. 
> 
> Sacagawea isn't in this particular story, but rest assured she will be in future stories. 
> 
> WARNING: This story does mention panic attacks and some suicide attempts. Nothing graphic is mentioned at all, but it appear, so be careful.

"So, who exactly is Jefferson hanging out with besides Madison?" 

Alex looked at Eliza. "Nobody? Only Madison is strange enough to actually want to hang out with Jefferson. Well, Laf too, but I think that's because he has a kink for doppelgänger sex." 

"I will not confirm that statement. I won't deny it either," said Lafayette, grinning at his friends.

"I'm not here to have a discussion about your kinks. I'm here to have a discussion about who the fuck Jefferson is hanging out with. I texted him like twenty minutes ago asking if he would help me study for my psych quiz, and he texted back 'Can't, James and I are hanging out with a friend.' Like, what the hell. My psych quiz is way more important than his social life. I didn't even think he had a social life until I got that text."

"Well, let's go over and find out!" said Lafayette, jumping to his feet. "If he will not answer us, let us find out the answers for ourselves!"

"Laf, you can't just barge into to someone's room. What if they're naked or something?" John said, looking at his friend exasperatedly.

"Well then, I will go in first so as to make sure the room is safe for you to be in. Or I will join in. It depends on the moment, really."

"Laf no."

"You cannot tell me what to do, Alex."

"It doesn't matter. Jefferson said Madison is involved, and I don't think Madison is into threesomes, so I highly doubt there will be naked people. And besides, Jefferson barges into rooms all the time. It's time he got a taste of his own medicine," Hercules said decisively.

And so the friends went to go found out just exactly what Jefferson was up to.

* * *

Meanwhile, Thomas Jefferson and his boyfriend James Madison were having a very serious discussion with their friend William Clark.

"I'm honestly worried about him. I can't tell if this is just Merry being Merry or if his depression is getting worse again," said Clark, looking slightly stressed.

"What was he doing?" asked James.

"Well, he was spending the night, but I got a text from Sacagawea that one of my plants was blooming at night, which was completely unexpected, so I went to go check it out. This was at like ten. I ran tests most of the night, and when I got back home all I could hear was this muttered 'bill bill bill bill bill bill.' So I go into my room, and Merry is just huddled under a blanket with Scannon, just enraptured with Bill Nye the Science Guy. We had started that right before I left. He was watching Bill Nye for five hours. Merry hates watching TV normally. He only does it when he's really bad. But he's never engaged with TV, and here he was, actually being entertained by a TV show."

"Maybe it's because it's science and taught in a fun and engaging way, so he actually enjoys it. You said the new medication seems to be working. I wouldn't worry about it. Or you could talk to him. Communication is key when it comes to mental health issues. Trust me, James and I know this first hand."

"You're right. I'll talk to him. I should have done that in the first place. God, why am I so awful at this?" Clark put his head in his hands.

"Listen, you were freaked out and not thinking things all the way through. It's going to happen on occasion." James put his hand on Clark's shoulder.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Clark jumped up. "It's probably Merry. I'll get it."

He walked over to the door and opened it. There was a large group of people standing in the doorway. One of them, who looked suspiciously like Thomas, frowned at Clark. "Who are you?"

Thomas came up behind Clark. "This is William Clark. He's planning on majoring in science here in a couple years. Clark, this is Lafayette. The girl standing next to him is Eliza Schuyler. The guy who looks like a taller and buffer version of James is Hercules Mulligan. The curly haired one is John Laurens. The final person is Alexander Hamilton."

"Nice to meet all of you," said Clark.

"Nice to meet you too. So, Jefferson, you can't help me with my psych quiz because you're hanging out with a high schooler?" Eliza said.

"A high schooler who could very well graduate top of his class. And he's cool besides that," Jefferson replied, grinning.

"Both Merry and I could graduate top of our class, if only we did better in English," sighed Clark. "English is a fucked up language. Spelling isn't real."

"Ain't that the truth," muttered John.

"Who's Merry?" asked Alex curiously. 

"My boyfriend. Meriwether Lewis. Call him Lewis, or else he'll kill you. Speaking of Merry, are you guys going to be here for a while? I need to text Merry and let him know if you are." 

"I mean, we don't have to, and we certainly won't stay if you don't want us to- yes, Alex, we will leave if they want us to go, we need to be polite- but I'm kind of curious as to what kind of science you want to be doing," said John.

"Honestly, between Merry and I, we could probably cover most of the science fields. And I don't mind if you stay, but it's not my room, so Thomas and James have the final say."

"I'm fine with it," said James.

"I really don't care. Do what you want," Thomas said.

"Sweet! We'll stay." Alex flopped down on the floor and made himself comfortable. "So, William-"

"Clark."

"What?"

"Call me Clark. William is a stupid name."

"Okay then. So, Clark, what drew you to Jefferson in the first place?" asked Alex.

"Well, Merry's parents are friends with Thomas' parents, so I got to be friends with him just by association with Merry. Oh, hey, is anyone allergic to dogs? Merry says he'll come over if he can bring Scannon," Clark said, looking at his phone.

"None of us are allergic. What kind of dog does Lewis have? Why is he bringing a dog?" Hercules asked, looking very interested. He clearly loved dogs.

"Scannon is a Newfoundland. As to why he's bringing a dog, I'll let him tell you if he wants too." Clark looked down at his phone, which had lit up with a notification. "He says he'll be here in a minute. He was already on his way."

Sure enough, in a minute there was a knock at the door. Eliza, being the one closest to the door, opened it. Another high schooler was at the door, with a large black Newfoundland dog by his side. 

"Babe!" cried Clark, and he leapt up from where he was sitting to bound over to the new kid and kiss him. "I've missed you so much!"

"We had a sleepover last night?" said Lewis, looking confused.

"Yeah, but you just watched Bill Nye all night."

"Fuck you."

"Lewis! We've discussed this! Not with Scannon here. I will not ruin his innocence. As long as he's not here, we're good."

"Oh, so we can have sex in front of people we just met, but god forbid that my dog, who is an animal and has a basic instinct to procreate, sees us having sex."

"Yes." Clark nodded, grinning.

Lewis let out a long suffering sigh as he sat down in one of the numerous bean bag chairs Thomas and James had. "I hate you."

"No you don't! You love me," Clark said as he sat down next to Lewis. Lewis' dog barked as if in agreement. "See? Scannon agrees with me." Clark reached over to pat Scannon on the head. 

"Is it okay if I pet him?" Hercules asked Lewis. 

Lewis nodded. "Yeah, it's fine. Be careful though, if he really likes you he'll lick your face, and he is very slobbery."

"That is a-okay with me," said Hercules.

"Hey, Lewis, how did you get a dog in here? I thought animals weren't allowed," said John.

"They're allowed if they're emotional support animals," replied Lewis. 

"If you don't mind me asking, why do you need an emotional support dog? You don't have to answer that, obviously," said Eliza.

Lewis drew in a deep breath. "Officially, it's because I have panic attacks a lot. But I've been having panic attacks for years. I only got Scannon after my second suicide attempt. That's the unofficial reason."

Silence fell across the room. Clark shifted so that he was cuddled into Lewis.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry," said Eliza softly.

"It's fine. I try to be open about it. Erase the stigma, you know? Lots of people have depression and anxiety. We should be able to talk about. Although," Lewis said, grinning slightly, "It's pretty damn hard to talk about anxiety when your anxiety is telling you not to."

John laughed. "I feel you there."

"Join the club," snorted Alex.

Lewis laughed as well. "Yeah. It sucks. But I recently found out that my hero may have had depression just like me. He also had a Newfoundland dog. His dog's name was Seaman though. And I can't take that name seriously. But historians originally that the dog's name was Scannon, which is why I named my dog Scannon. Oh, my hero is Meriwether Clark by the way. You know, the guy who mapped out the Louisiana Territory with William Lewis? Yeah. He's also like the only other person to be named Meriwether. And how cool is it that those two are basically just me and Will with our last names switched? And they like science and exploring just like us too. And I think they were gay."

"So, you want to be a park ranger eventually?" asked Lafayette.

"Something like that. Merry and I are both heavily involved in biology and botany, although I admit Merry has a bit of an edge over me."

"Okay, but you have better mapping skills than I do. My research would mean nothing if I can't fucking find where I did my research."

"This is the gayest and nerdiest conversation I have ever witnessed, and I'm best friends with Alex and John," said Hercules, who was still petting Scannon. 

"I take offense to that! John and I have way nerdier and gayer conversations than these two."

"Fuck you! I challenge you to a gay nerd duel. Right here, right now," said Clark. His tone was menacing, but it was overwhelmed by the grin that was spreading across his face.

"Joke's on you, Clark. I'm actually bi, so I can't have a gay nerd duel."

"Uh, actually, I'm bi. Merry is the full homo."

"Refer to me as a full homo again and there will be no homo for you."

"Guys, calm down. Besides, we both know that James and I are the gayest and nerdiest couple," said Thomas smugly.

"Um, Thomas? Eliza and Theodosia kick all of our asses. Remember when they got the chance to speak at that one conference for psych minors and dressed up as Freud, and then proceeded to debunk all of Freud's theories?" James reminded them.

Lewis and Clark turned to stare at Eliza. 

"Did you really do that?" asked Clark.

Eliza nodded. "Yes, we did."

"I'm completely heterosexual suddenly," said Clark.

"I've never been homosexual in my life. Who's William Clark? I don't even know who that is. I'm so heterosexual I don't even notice other men because I'm just so straight," Lewis said, completely straight-faced. 

"What the fuck? I'm so good looking I make straight guys realize that they can be attracted to guys after all," Clark said, acting offended.

"Excusez-moi? I am clearly the best looking here," said Lafayette, standing so that everyone could look at his beauty.

"Sorry Laf, but John is actually the hottest person here," said Alex, craning his neck so that he could kiss John without actually moving off of John's lap.

"Aw, thanks babe, but you're actually the cutest. And that's why we make the cutest couple. That, and the fact that we go to protests together."

"No! You can't be the cutest couple! Mon amour Hercules and I do matching halloween costumes every year. Last year he was Captain America, and I was one of the chorus girls. We are the cutest!" Lafayette exclaimed.

"It's true, we are the cutest," said Hercules as he pulled Lafayette into a bear hug.

"No, you're not," Thomas drawled. "James and I are the cutest. We go out for walks every Friday evening and feed each other cotton candy as we walk down the river."

"We do. So Thomas is right, we are the cutest couple."

"Um? No? Theodosia and I are the cutest couple because make sure to take a picture of each other everyday, and we have plans to make one scrapbook a year with all of them," Eliza said, looking at the rest of them smugly.

"Will spent a month making a highly detailed map of every date we've ever gone on. And places that we went when we were just friends. He color coded it and everything. And he wrote me a love letter on the back of it. So, I think we're actually the cutest couple," Lewis said.

"Okay, but you literally spent all of your birthday money to get me a two year supply of bug spray for _my_ birthday, just because I hate mosquitoes. And it was the high quality stuff too." 

"Well, it was that and also I didn't want you to get malaria or West Nile virus. It was a good birthday gift and got rid of anxiety too. I mean, you explore a lot, so I got worried

Clark looked at Lewis with adoration. "You got me that to prevent me from getting sick? I love you."

"Okay, I think they win this round," said John. The others nodded.

"Oh, and they practically have a kid as well. This girl named Sacagawea hangs out with them all the time," Thomas added suddenly. 

"Okay, to be honest, Sacagawea actually takes care of Merry and I more than we take care of her. She's a badass, for only being in seventh grade. Do you know how many specimens I would have killed if not for her? Janey is a life saver," said Clark.

"Yeah! The Corps of Discovery would be dead without her," Lewis agreed.

"The Corps of Discovery? Sounds neat. Who all is in it?" asked John.

"Um... Me, Will, and Sacagawea?" Lewis said, sounding embarrassed.

"There's only three of you?" Alex sounded incredulous.

"Yeah. There's only three of us. But we get shit done," said Clark.

"Cool," said Hercules, who once again petting Scannon.

"SHIT!" Eliza yelled suddenly. "I have a quiz in fifteen minutes!"

"Well, you're fucked. Better get going!" Alex said cheerfully.

"We should probably get going too. I have an essay due tomorrow, and Alex has one due in two weeks, which obviously means he needs to get it done now," John said, maneuvering Alex off of his lap and then standing.

"I resent that last statement. Fuck you."

"Maybe after we get done with our essays. Consider it an incentive."

"Gross, you guys," Hercules groaned. "But Marie and I had better leave as well. We're supposed to Skype with Marie's friend Adrienne tonight."

"Um, who's Marie?" asked Lewis.

"That's me! Marie-Joesph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette!"

Lewis looked astounded. "Why?"

"French names are fucking stupid, that's why," said Alex as he moved to go out the door.

"French names are not stupid! You are stupid!" With that proclamation, Lafayette leapt towards Alex and proceeded to chase him out the door. Their significant others followed behind them. 

At last, it was only Lewis, Clark, Thomas, and James. 

"Your friends are crazy. I like them," said Lewis, resting his hand on Scannon's head. "Although I feel very drained after being around them."

"You build up a tolerance. They're a high energy group," said James.

"Yeah. I want Sacagawea to meet them. I think she'll impress them."

"Clark, I think Sacagawea impresses everyone," Thomas said.

"True."

"Hey, Will, do you mind if we leave now? I missed a dosage of my Prozac yesterday because the doctor wants to see if the nausea issue is better if I take it later in the day. Mom said she'd make spaghetti if you wanted to eat with us."

"Yeah dude! Is she making your grandma's sauce recipe?"

"Doesn't she always? Let's go! Bye Thomas! Bye James!" said Lewis as he gathered up Scannon's leash and moved towards the door.

"Bye guys! Don't be strangers! Lewis, remind me to send you that link to the article about marigolds I was telling you about," said Thomas as he and James stood up to say goodbye.

"I will! See you guys later!"

And with that, Lewis and Clark left. Their next adventure was one of discovering just how much spaghetti Clark could eat before passing out into a food coma.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> tbh calling lewis and clark by their first names is super uncomfortable, which is why only they refer to each other by their first names.
> 
> Okay it's time for me to go cry over Lewis and Clark more. And also find a way to time travel back in time and punch Sacagawea's husband in the face, because seriously, she was sixteen.
> 
> That makes the Night at the Museum movies so much worse now oh my god Teddy Roosevelt NO SHE IS A CHILD


End file.
